If I have written on every day of a year, am I a writer? Must I find that impulse more often, or can I let my motives rot like fallen apples? I know there is a good seed inside, ready to germinate, lift leaves, and find the sun. I know I have the power of new growth, strong enough even to push aside old trees once whipped by wind, now stoic in the face of storms. I can be the author future readers reference. I can give society an undying idea.
But my orchard is littered with fruit. The once-proud grove smells sickly sweet of death and the flies drink the sweet nectar of exploded windfalls.
[I have made forty-odd posts this year, and fifty the last. In 2011, I posted over two hundred times.]
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You're a writer because you write. But it's also not your full-time job. And you seem to fill your time with good things and fun activities and time with people, so all's well.
ReplyDeleteSometimes seeds take a long time to grow.
When I read this back in August, it really resonated with me. I saved it as unread in my Reader, and just revisited it again this week. It still resonates with me. I, too, have trouble getting myself to write all the thoughts and feelings that live within my head. I don't have an answer for you, just wanted to let you know that I loved this piece and that I understand where you're coming from.
ReplyDeleteI do appreciate and agree with Ashley's last line.