[It's technically the first, now. Who cares?]
I'm sweaty. My palms are. My back is. My forehead is. Everything glistens.
I have too much riding on the line.
God tells me to be calm.
Breathe.
Tamp down the fear.
Calm.
Good. Now, step out, face smiling.
Excellent.
Stage fright.
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Oh, man. So this.
ReplyDeleteStage fright is a thing I have dealt with lots. It doesn't really get easier.
You have captured it.
Oh, this doesn't happen just on the stage. This is like me trying to talk to any guy I've ever been attracted to. It doesn't get easier, but it gets a little more bearable, if I were brave enough to keep trying. For me, it's easier to be on the stage than in a social situation.
ReplyDeleteIs it fear of embarrassment, do you think, or fear of being seen?
ReplyDeleteOr something else entirely?
Oh, the fear of rejection mainly, coupled with a fear of what other people will think. At the foundation of those fears would still be the fear of not having control, of being vulnerable with one's feelings (something which the two of us have decided that I have difficulty with).
ReplyDeleteIn the past, maybe it was the fear of being seen, but now there's more a fear of NOT being seen.
I've been getting much better over the last three or four years, but I've got ways to go.
DeleteI've felt it before, believe it or not . . .
ReplyDeleteFelt stage fright? Or the fear of rejection? Or both?
ReplyDeleteJust because someone is entertaining does not mean that they aren't terrified of whatever.
Robby, what you said reminds me of things that I have often wondered. Anyway, I cannot imagine you not having had to overcome it.
ReplyDeleteFor some reason, I want to quote Darcy's "We, neither of us, perform to strangers," or however that goes. This is funny because it is completely untrue in the cases at hand, I think.
Ashlee, the fear of not being seen especially resonated with me. I'm glad things are getting better.