He didn't seem concerned to me, when I saw him. It could be because I can see through the facade he wears. I'm not satisfied with the tired explanation he gave me. I'm discerning in my taste.
You see, I'm a woman who can't be fooled. I see the thin veneer that society layers over everything it owns like a syrup on pancakes. I am just exactly discerning enough to not enjoy the popular films or accept the fads or find joy in celebrities. Everything is fake.
I guess when he came to me today, I was't surprised. In a way, I saw it coming. But everything was so smarmy and fake. He wanted to know if I was ok. He wanted to know if I would feel sad about him. He said it wasn't my fault, that he just needed room to make decisions. He wants to be friends. He thinks I'm great, but just not for him--he would screw me up. I've got news for him, and boy will he be surprised to hear it. I've known for a month how he wants to break up. He's been flirting with Janet pretty openly at this point. And he doesn't want to be friends, because he was hardly my friend before.
Anyway, I'm done deceiving myself.
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This is rough.
ReplyDeleteShe seems so terribly angry at everything.
I can't tell whether she should be.
"Everything is fake."
"Anyway, I'm done deceiving myself."
I've said those things before, and they are not true.
But sometimes believing in nothing is easier.
Question: isn't she allowed to be terribly angry? Especially since her boyfriend's been flirting with someone else for an entire month?
ReplyDeleteI only ask because I saw this thing happen in reverse, where she was flirting and he got angry. I believed he had reason to feel upset. Yes, he played his own role in the whole situation, but that didn't stop him from feeling angry.
People can't deceive themselves? If not, they can certainly feel that they have.
Anyway, I must be off to class. Tata.
I'm not saying she's not allowed to be angry. It's just-- she knew a month before, and she said nothing. She did not try to save their relationship.
ReplyDeleteOf course people can deceive themselves. But she, in her anger, takes it too far. Not everything is fake.
I realize she's speaking out of anger, and generally such anger fades, but it's hard for me to read because of reasons.
Well, in the example that I'm aware of, he tried but was ignored.
ReplyDeleteIn this example (brilliantly written by Robby, by the way), she knew a month ago but it doesn't say whether she tried anything or not. It's a good guess that she didn't, but still.
Yeah, she doesn't say she tried to save it. I'm assuming she probably acted the same way the whole time, and then snapped. That's how humans deal with things; they just "deal with it" and then BREAK and YELL. It's normal, but it's not necessarily healthy.
ReplyDeleteI know he tried, Ashlee.
ReplyDeleteI am clearly unfamiliar with how humans deal with these situations.
Yes, well, if Beckett and Castle are any indication, we're going to watch a while of having them just "deal with it" before they break and yell.
ReplyDeleteAnd it's not just romantic relationships that people do these kind of things in; it's any kind of relationship.
Also, Janelle: you're a human. Just sayin'.
Castle and Beckett and their writers MUST be Trekkies. I don't know. Maybe Spock is right after all. He's right about so many things after all. But still, I mean, it's mostly in attitude, right? It's not about the having or not-having or the emotions or the whatever; it's choices.
ReplyDeleteOne does not even need a relationship.
Most writers are fans of many things, I think. There was Mal in last night's Castle, imo. But writers, being fans, know what entertains.
ReplyDeleteI used to do things that annoyed Philip to death, but he would think to himself "oh, I'll just deal with it until he stops." If I didn't stop, he would get supremely peeved at me and explode.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds dangerous. Why do people do that? Either you deal with it or you don't. I don't get this "explosion" bit.
ReplyDeleteYou've done it too, Janelle.
ReplyDeleteDoing it doesn't mean that I understand it.
ReplyDeleteI didn't think she sounds angry. In my opinion, the narrator sounds tired and kind of turned off emotionally. I'm not sure she even misses him.
ReplyDeleteThoughts?
I can see that.
ReplyDelete