The thing
crawled
gently across the carpet
and up my leg.
I tried to shake it off, but it clung to me like a chemical reaction set off by some unstoppable catalyst, fizzing and popping and melting all my essential minerals into so much slag.
The thing
scary though it may be
can't
harm
me.
I lied. There's the harm. I feel it deep in my rapidly decaying soul. It caught the barest edge of a crevice and buried itself in the undying ether of my conscious mind. Done with my body, it eats my self, mindless of the rarity of the immortal ghost.
The thing
ached
its way into
my actions today.
You see, I haven't found a way to fight the thing. It always comes to me on rainy days when the weather is wrong and the world is acrimonious. I feel it first as a damp fear in my chest, and then it climbs into my awareness with claws of carrion and clarity. It crushes my will and acts in my place, and all my so-self-named and poorly defined friends look at me with wondering eyes and ask if I really feel okay.
The thing
isn't unique to me
but I forget that
when it loves me with its pain.
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Hmm. I know that I relate, but I'm not sure how. I think that's okay, though. Although it's a bit depressing and melancholy, I like it.
ReplyDeleteThe thing is depression and melancholy, so good.
ReplyDeleteWell, then I know how.
ReplyDeleteStill, it's very well written.
I know this feeling, and I find that I can only defeat it if I let someone else do it for me.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry.
But truly, I wish you could be as enamoured of Christ as I am. It makes fighting the darkness-- not easier, exactly, but less hopeless, less impossible.
I wish I had words of value for you.
I'm not depressed. I have been, and I remember what it felt like.
ReplyDeleteI rarely write about what I'm currently thinking. I urge you to consider my byline.
I know you aren't.
ReplyDeleteOkay, fine, so maybe I don't think that anyone should write with such darkness without purpose, without a solution, without hope.
DeleteMaybe I assume you are experiencing it because I'd rather not believe your decision to depress people is deliberate.