7.10

The following list of firsts have utterly defined me: breakup, funeral, surgery, bankruptcy, loss. But my first kiss? First love? First child? These don't enchant me. Where are the songs for my values? Where are the nightmare songs about waking up under the knife, your heart beating out of your chest, the pain slowly sharpening to frightening intensity, your limbs leaden and unmoving, but your eyes frantically tearing about, looking for anyone who might notice and throw you under again?