Do you tell yourself stories? I do. I imagine myself in mundane scenarios. I imagine people handling me in a conversation. I imagine women ignoring me. I imagine conversations with friends, with enemies, with myself. I imagine myself trapped, constrained, trying to deal with the interminate future of four close-set walls. I imagine being used, being described, being opened up and examined.
I don't tell myself stories of victories, though, of reciprocal desire, of small comforts.
I'm happy enough in my everyday life. I wouldn't need the fantasies; I'd waste them. I'll save them for later, but--
What if you only have so many stories before you run out?
What if all my stories are sad?
I should look it up, but nobody's written that book yet.
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I think sometimes you get stuck on a story because you have to work through it. Like a video game.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of, I've paused 3/5 of the way through Life is Strange because it's too beautiful and I can't stand for it to be over. It filled me up and I was terrified of continuing, so I've just . . . stopped.
ReplyDeleteIt's been nearly a year.