2.1

Fortinbras lives.
I named the bat who didn't know any better than an accidental afternoon in Fred Meyer. I named it because it touched my life when it touched my arm, and cost me up to two thousand dollars in emergency room bills that I've been struggling to find a way to pay. I named the bat because I will remember it better if it's not some thing, but some one. Live long and well, Fortinbras, and tell your grandchildren of the day an idiot licked his arm where you clambered, forever altering his fate and also making it much cheaper to be bitten by a rabid animal in the future. Well done, Fortinbras. You will be missed.

My mother cleaned things from the fridge, hoping to have more space and less hassle to clean. I taught her a lesson about fridges by writing FORTINBRAS LIVES in cheery plastic magnets for her to gaze at hatefully every day.
Call your mom. She loves you too much to be lonely today.