The girl was fine and she knew it. She walked with a sway and tossed her hair with tinkling laughter.
Disgusting.
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I will make you cry tears of blood. Get ready to be depressed.
Dance in the Full Moon
O, the Frailty of Memory
Pride Goeth Before a Fall
Hindsight
My Serial Mistakes
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This is Your Fault
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Question: What about it is disgusting? Is it the walking with a sway, or the tossing of the hair, or the tinkling laughter? Is it the combination?
ReplyDeleteWould you prefer someone who is continually frightened and insecure? Is confidence only good for men?
Now I'm just being ridiculous. But still . . . I cannot believe that people find my constant need for others' approval to be anything but grating.
It's not any of those things. If she comes by them honestly, it works. It's nice. It's awesome, and I prefer it.
ReplyDeleteBut if she's hot and she knows it, that is just insufferable. There is nothing worse than a woman who TRIES to use her attractiveness to cripple men. Well, there are worse things, but hyperbole. It's like if I tried to use my height and boomingness to intimidate people. I mean, it happens, but I DO NOT TRY! WHAAAT?
I understand. I hate showoffs.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'll definitely grant you that. Despite the whole "superiority of mind" thing making sure pride is always "under good regulation," I detest arrogance, even if the person has reasons for being arrogant.
ReplyDeleteHowever, people SAY they hate showoffs, but often what they mean is more along the lines of "I hate people who make me feel small, whether or not that was their original intent."
Meh, well, the girl in your story doesn't seem any worse to me than the swaggering male types. You know the kind--"arrogant jerk" doesn't even really sum it up.
ReplyDeleteSo where is the line drawn between a girl being sure of herself and having a bit of moxie, and the girl who...what is it...shamelessly uses her body to get what she wants?
Good question, Lyssa. Where is that line, and how can people tell where it is?
ReplyDeleteAt least we've thought of the question, even if we don't know the answer.
Lyssa: Yes. That. :-)
ReplyDeleteI think the answer to that question is not the same for everyone.
Probably quite true, Janelle.
ReplyDeleteOh, my gosh. Yeah, guys can be just as annoying. You weren't in the car when Brooke said it to Ashlee and I, which is what prompted this. I'm not just missing it.
ReplyDeleteThe line . . . is intent. There shouldn't be a grey area (as far as I know.) If you're trying to manipulate AT ALL you have crossed into no-no land. But if you are straight up and confident and you say what you want, that is both attractive and non-manipulative.
I just think that the "LOOK AT MY HIPS AREN'T I HOT BUY ME SOMETHING" is manipulative and I have a major peeve against that.
When I say, "I hate showoffs," what I mean is I don't like attention-seeking people. I am annoyed by guys who think it's cool to skateboard off of the girls' dorm steps because it might impress some ladies. I am repulsed by guys who think that going 70 miles on a motorcycle--without a helmet--and pulling a wheelie in rush hour traffic is awesome. I don't care for girls who "let it all hang out" and fulfill the stereotype of Blonde, just to get the boys to notice her.
ReplyDelete(Saying this, I must admit that I revel in beating boys in physical activities--in grade school I was the faster than all the boys and could play most sports better than most of them. And I never missed a chance to climb a rock face better and faster than any boy my age [and sometimes older]. [I don't do so much of that now, sigh. All the boys hit puberty and grew muscle, and I've stopped exercising.] Also, I must admit, that when I feel good, I like to strut--especially if my heal click. I like to walk with power and purpose. [But I have tried to tone that down, because I don't need to draw everyone's attention.]
Ok, that's enough self-reflection for one night--if I ever seem to prideful, tell me to stop.)
Hm. I know that I feel good when I am the best at something, but I avoid physical stuff as much as I can. I am too competitive.
ReplyDeleteHurray for no points!
ReplyDeleteI think that someone who's being manipulative with their looks--male or female--has crossed a line. I actually think we're all in agreement here. (Are we?)
ReplyDeleteHm..you guys have sparked some thoughts in me...maybe I'll take a spin in the fiction-writing blog post stuff. Just to shake things up.
Is it all just about looks, though? I've been really frustrated lately with people who do that with other things. Grades, for instance, or test scores. Isn't there a difference between celebrating accomplishments and being arrogant about them? Are people who flaunt their looks really worse to be with than people who flaunt their brains or their musical abilities or whatever?
ReplyDeleteYeah, I hear you, the key is manipulation, but I think selfishness is at the root. Still . . . different people have different things to be wary of. Some people manipulate others by making them feel guilty, while others flaunt their humility. Do we really have a right to be disgusted with others when we so often do the same thing, just in different ways?
Sorry. Commencing destruction of my ridiculous soapbox.
No, there's no difference between if I manipulated a situation with my abilities than if I was a girl and did the lean-over-teacher's-desk-and-squish-my-boobs-together thing.
ReplyDeleteSelfishness is a good root to have, but I think it most clearly manifests as manipulation. So that's what I said.
I don't know if everybody manipulates, but I try to be straightforward. Like if someone were to ask me "Do you want to save sex until marriage" I would have to honestly say "no. But I will wait despite my desire." I try to be . . . super honest. Perhaps too honest.
I wasn't really talking about using one's abilities; I was talking about flaunting them. I think there is a difference. I don't think there's anything wrong with doing well on a test or talking one's way out of a situation, but I do think there's something wrong with insisting on telling everyone all about the wonderful things you did in excruciating detail.
ReplyDeleteYay for super honesty.
I agree, Janelle, it's flaunting that is a problem.
ReplyDeleteAnd, Robby, I appreciate your super honesty.
Ugh. It didn't help me in my last situation.
ReplyDeleteHooray for developing censors!
ReplyDeleteNo, I still want to be super honest. I would just like someone who appreciates it a little more often.
ReplyDeleteI hate the little social lies we all tell. I want, if she asks "Does this make me look fat," for her to believe whatever I say is the absolute truth.
Haluska's "Organ Grinder's Monkey" story. I'm going to write it now, I appreciate it so much.
Yes, I agree. What I mean by censors is, well, let's just apply it to the above situation: You should tell her how she looks when she asks, because, that's why she is (should be) asking--if you can find something more flattering, please do! But you would not want to tell her out of the blue that she looks fat--I don't know a single female who would take that well. She knows very well how much weight she's put on and does not want a reminder.
ReplyDeleteThat is all I mean by censor.
Of course. I don't try to be hurtful. Sometimes I am because I don't know, but it isn't purposeful. Intent counts, or at least it should. If it doesn't, I don't want to be in the relationship anymore.
ReplyDeleteI think most people take a little bit of time to realize that you don't mean to be hurtful--at least that is what the faces of girls in our education classes have told me--few people are used to the blunt end of "super honesty."
ReplyDeleteBut, Robby, I want you to know that I very much appreciate your honesty. You are one of the few people I know who is always honest--or, at least, always strives for honesty. And you are one of the few who have caused me strive for honesty.
Anyway, captcha "phinni"--they keep getting weirder, I swear.
Well, thanks. :)
ReplyDeleteUgh. I wish everybody was in heaven already and finding a woman would be easier.
But there is no marriage in heaven. New earth, perhaps?
ReplyDeleteThis conversation is interesting.
I just remembered something. Once a guy wasn't honest with me because he was trying not to hurt my feelings. By "not honest," I mean he didn't tell me the truth. That really screwed me over, and it hurt me more than if he had just told me because it never really ended.
ReplyDeleteI have always been severely tempted to tell people what they want to hear, which I haven't always overcome, and I'm good at acting like I believe something I don't actually believe, which is good for debates but horrible for real life. So . . . I guess what I'm trying to say is . . . I don't know. Here's a thing.
I cannot possibly believe God will end marriage once he comes back. Adam and Eve were married before sin. It is as close as humans can get to experiencing a community like the trinity (Man + Woman + God) and there is no way in my mind that he would just . . . kill that.
ReplyDeleteWell, the truth is always tricky. How much of it do you tell? How honest should you be? I usually dig way deeper into the question than people are actually asking. For example, the "do you want to remain celibate until marriage" I answer with a no. My body and my mind don't want that. There are a million ways I would wish to break my celibacy. But my soul says I shouldn't, and it speaks loudest.
Likewise, if someone asks "why do you like me," I don't avoid sticky or awkward areas, I just say them. I try to be as specific and definite as I can, rather than just saying "You're fun to be around/I like your smile" and whatever else.
YES! GOOD! ROBBY I HAVE NEVER MET ANYONE WHO BELIEVED SOMETHING SIMILAR TO WHAT I BELIEVE ABOUT THAT. I think there is marriage on the New Earth but not in Heaven. Definitely should be marriage because of the stuff you said.
ReplyDeleteHmm. Definite versus nebulous truth. I feel as if I have grown up surrounded by politicians. I realize that is a somewhat vague thing to say, but being more specific would probably negate the point.
I just . . . I don't wanna live forever never having known a woman's touch.
ReplyDeleteI know that I won't need it in the new earth whatever whatever.
But when the earth was new and perfect, God said "Go forth, be fruitful and multiply." And by golly I would just love to follow God's directive.
Lol Robby, that is the best thing.
ReplyDeleteHow do you know you won't need it?
Yay for super honesty.
"Nothing in the world is single,
ReplyDeleteAll things by a law divine
In one another's being mingle--
Why not I with thine?"
--Percy Shelley, "Love's Philosophy"
(Finally, this quote is relevant to something!)
The deeper you delve into the universe--the further you go into an atom--the more the bits and pieces rely on one another--so much so, some might say they are one.
Oh, I suppose I don't KNOW I won't need it. But I suspect that I will have fewer flaws? With a perfect body? So I'll be able to regulate myself much better. So I don't think I'll need anything but God for sure and that's fine with me.
ReplyDeleteBut I would still like to find somebody before then just because I'm not waiting because no man knows the day or the hour and . . . meh. Might as well go out with a bang, right?
Brooke: Hmm, sounds a little Zen.
ReplyDeleteLol, sure. Bang.
Right.
ReplyDeleteThere are thirty five comments on this three line post.
ReplyDeleteWe have problems.
That is the beauty of haiku, Robby. It inspires thought.
ReplyDelete