5.18c

The internet isn't fast tonight.

I'm waiting for a video to load because it is the MOST EPIC BATTLE EVER AND I WANT STARCRAFT2 SO BAD I CAN TASTE IT.

Buuuuuuut that is just the way of the world. We shall see what we shall see about all sorts of seeing and whatnot.

If that last sentence doesn't make sense, don't worry. I just read it and it doesn't make sense to me either. ON TO THE BLOG!

I LOVE seeing things from a different perspective. Things like this just make me so very happy. It's like . . . "Oh! I see! I had never thought about it that way, but now I understand!" This is also why I write: to provide other people with those "Oh!" moments. Here is one I have noticed recently.

Guys don't think about brand when we go to procure the radishes from the market.

Imagine HappyMan at the supermarket. He is browsing in the produce section. This is what he sees: Violet Valley radishes are radishes. Offbrand Market Hill radishes are radishes. They look the same and weigh the same and will not taste markedly different. And besides, the Offbrand Market Hill radishes are ever so much cheaper. HappyMan's wife has merely written "Radishes" on the shopping list, so Offbrand Market Hill it is, and a happy 50 cent win for the family!

When HappyMan comes home to HappyWife, HappyWife looks more like the neighbor, CrankyNancy. Which is not good, because I have alienated everyone named Nancy. She assaults (as far as he is concerned, because he is expecting a "JOB WELL DONE, HAPPYMAN!" from her, and possibly a friendly swat on the behind, not this immediate accusment of failure) with the words "WHY WOULD YOU EVER BUY OFFBRAND MARKET HILL RADISHES? (She, of course, manages to make the words sound like a curse). HappyMan is perplexed. WHAT HAPPENED? I can give you a hint, from a male perspective.

Don't kill me, I'm not a bigot.

WOMEN SUCK

Brand is immaterial. Food is important, but only the aspect of food that fills us. MEN FIND LITTLE TO NO DELIGHT IN SUPERIOR COMESTIBLES (except for "How the Rhinoceros Got His Skin). Women are FOOLS for desiring Violet Valley and I make few to no apologies for saying so.

Men love food, yes. Men love good food. Men also love crap. I have previously eaten a freezer pizza while sitting on a floor in a basement with as much gusto as I ate a finely crafted, 15 dollar Napoleon in the French Quarter of New Orleans. Men love food. Men love the fact that it fills their bellies and gives their esophagi a workout. SIDE NOTE I love the spelling of esophagi.

From what I have seen, women (in my family, anyway) love to moan and complain and [pregnatable canine] about food. I hate it.

This came about because Dad bought offbrand Poptarts and Gatorade and the XXs of the house went on a 15 minute tear about the XYs and their horrible attention to detail. MORAL OF THE STORY: I drank the Powerade and ate the Toster Pops like there was no tommorow. You would think that this knowledge would unburden women everywhere who finally realize that their man can't tell if they've made cake from a mix vs. from scratch, but APPARENTLY, WOMEN ARE INCONCEIVABLE.

Play me off, Keyboard Cat.