8.28

I wrapped the gerbil tighter into my coat. Even if I wouldn't make it, Francis would still have a fighting chance.

I struggled through the waist-deep cotton candy until I made it to the wall. Sweat slowly crawled down my back, wetting the cotton candy already stuck there, weighing me down. I thought of the raisins in my pocket, and decided to wait until the opportune time.

I slowly snowplowed my way up the stairs, struggling to gain purchase with my novelty clown shoes. After 37 steps and an eternity of effort, I reached the top of the stairs, and a fairly clear area at the top where he stood.

"Oh, mighty wizard of enchantments and abjurations!" I cried. "I beseech thee, stop this plague and take the princess instead!" I beseeched. "You lay waste to our lands in the name of love, and we can scarce find the resources to fight you! Besides, the princess isn't that hot anyway!"
"ARE YOU SAYING YOU GIVE UP?" came the booming reply.

"Essentially, yes."

"HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHA HA. I wiiiin I wiiiiin! You lose, I win NANANANANANA NA."

The fact that he was a sore winner wasn't making this any easier. Slowly, I drew the raisins from my pocket. "Well, if you're going to be like that . . ."

I flung them at him and yelled "DRIED FRUIT!"

He stared in shock for a split second, caught inbetween two "HAs" and a triple "NA" stream. Then the raisins hit him in the face, and he shrieked in terror.

"YOU KNOW I HATE DRIED FRUIT! NOW IT'S STUCK IN MY COLLAR YOU STUPID IDIOT! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET IT OUT? GAH THIS IS WHY MY MOTHER ALWAYS TOLD ME TO NOT WEAR LACE."

I turned with Francis and ran down the stairs as the wizard slowly picked raisins out of his clothing.

I think I won.