4.7b

Disclaimer: I am all for the sexual abuse/harassment awareness week. There is a pressing need for people to stop giving each other the bad touch and calling each other naughty names. Seriously, the depravity of human beings is astonishing. Stop it.

On the other hand, I want to discuss the women on the promenade. I have been told many times that "Men are abused too." this statement commonly comes immediately after my statement "Oh, I'm trying to protect myself and I'm doing a good job. I'm tall and male." Response: men are abused too.

I have to wonder why they tell me, again and again. I suppose that the obvious reason would be that they don't know if I am aware of the possibility that a man can be abused, and they're covering their bases. This vague possibility has flitted across my mind.

Additionally, it could be that they're trying to make men feel like the week isn't just about how "women = angels and men = demonspawn." It's true, the entire Rape Prevention theme has a very heavy Avoid Men feel to it, but I think we deserve it a bit. Men have kind of acted like dillholes and dickweeds for ages upon ages. If there is a demographic that women can be wary around and just cut their risk in half or more, then more power to them.

Finally, I can't help feeling that the women who tell this to me desperately want to believe it. I mean, that's like saying that somebody wants to believe in the moon. It's right there, just go ahead. But it's deeper than that. They want a man to validate their fear. They feel that if a guy is afraid of being harassed or abused, then it is not cowardly or shameful for them to be afraid. They want life to return to being roughly equal and for women to not be seen as the weaker sex. I can get that. I can understand that. Nobody wants to be less.

But I think that if this is the case, the women should take a moment to see the thing from a male perspective. It's only fair; they're trying to get men to see harassment from a female perspective. I just want them to understand that there is a "female perspective;" that there's more than one way to look at abuse and harassment.

The way I, as a man, look at rape, abuse, and harassment:

If I am taken advantage of, my only feeling will be of inadequacy. Not violation, not dirtiness necessarily, not anger or doubt or fear or loathing. Not even a feeling of hurt. Not at first. Just inadequacy. From what I've heard and read, this is not common among women. See, I have this deep-set, overwhelming desire to provide for the people I love, to protect them, and to be a firm rock in their stormy lives. I want to be a pillar upon which a house is built. If another man takes advantage of me so thoroughly that I cannot act back, then the first real emotion I would feel would be inadequacy. Shame, right to my very core. I would feel like not enough. I would feel like I had no power. I would feel . . . unworthy.
There's a reason why men don't think about rape, abuse, and harassment. There's a reason why we walk blindly into possibly horrible situations. There's a reason why we don't prepare. To prepare or to avoid or to think about these would be tantamount to admitting that we had already lost. It would be like saying "Alright world, I'm not good enough to take what you throw at me. Allow me to cry like a child now."

No.

Just no.

Real men don't do that. Real men stand up with their chests out and walk into the volcano because it's the only way to save their woman. Real men pull other people out of collapsing buildings. Real men move trains out of the way with their bare hands. Real men don't run from anything. And inside every man is a Real man waiting to get out and be validated by the universe.

So, no. I do not and will not think about or prepare for or avoid my possible rape. I'm sorry, women of the world. Sometimes, men are just too stupid for you to trick.