Dance in the Full Moon

O, the Frailty of Memory

Friday, November 18, 2011

11.18

[This has been a week to end all weeks. I'll get back to Catherine. It won't take me a month, but I will finish. This I vow.]

It's not a lie, really. Just a half truth. Just exactly what you want to hear. It's not mean-spirited, or hurtful, or hateful. And yet you reacted so very badly.

"And do you think you can get away with that?" So say you.
"You haven't defined your antecedent." So say I.
I'm angry too. You aren't the only one allowed to be angry, anyway. Stop being angry.
"You said you wanted to be friends, and this isn't what friendship looks like." You.
"Friendship is a two-way street, I'll have you know." I.
"Easy for you to say. You haven't even tried to be my friend." You.
That's stupid and you know it. I'm here talking to you right now, aren't I? That's something friends do.
"That's not fair--" I, and yet you cut me off with a giant humph.
"I'm afraid of being friends on your terms. I don't know what it means." You? That doesn't sound like you. That sounds like anger and fear. You don't sound like that.

My terms? My terms are simple. Love me forever, but never tell me about it. Hold me in the highest regard, but never approach me. Always be there when I call, but don't expect anything of me. Be a perfect memory of my triumph in forgetting.
Oh! And never, ever, hurt me again.
Simple.

4 comments:

  1. Oh, Robby. I want to say so many things to this, and I'm just not sure how many of them are appropriate for the Internets.

    If this is what I think it is . . .

    1. There is so much not being said, so much withheld so it doesn't hurt the other-- and I think knowing there are things not being said makes things worse.
    2. This doesn't seem like you.
    3. Those terms are impossible if "you" meant "you" wanted to be friends.
    4. I know those terms are impossible because I accepted them once.
    4.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I don't believe what I wrote, if it helps. Life imitating art art imitating life.

    ReplyDelete