Wake up.
What was with that dream?
I don't remember much of it--it seemed like hours and hours, and all I can remember are the last ten minutes. I climbed a wall. All my friends were sitting on top of it. There was only one ladder, so those who went up first were farthest away from the ladder, and couldn't get down without clambering down the edifice of the building, scrabbling on windows and bricks, fearing of falling. Those closest to the ladder had all the power they wanted. They could climb up or down at their leisure.
She was, of course, at the top of the ladder.
She would be, you know, at the top of the ladder, holding all the power, preventing everyone else's happiness, controlling, protecting herself. I don't know if it was symbolic, but it sure felt typical to me.
I edged my way past her and had to climb down the wall on the other side. (No ladder). I had to hook my legs through windows and drive my fingers into cracks.
When I got to the bottom, there was nothing there. Why did I climb down? I could look back up and see all my friends' legs, waving down at me. Symbolic? No. Just perspective. I was down, they were up. Easy to explain; I climbed down. I'm not worse than any of my friends, am I?
I turned around. She was there, suddenly, vibrant and alive. I hate her.
I wandered away and play with Andy Griffith. I calmed down.
Now awake. Do I still hate her? Probably not.
Here's a good question: does my brain believe what I tell myself?
I think I told you this already, but last night, I dreamed (among other things) that you had a mullet. It did not suit you. (I blame you for dreaming that because yesterday you made me picture you with longer hair because hipsters or white dudes or both.)
ReplyDeleteAndy Griffith! :-)
Anyway. I can think of plenty to say about your dream, and I think some of it might have merit, but the biggest thing I want to say to you is that the only thing I think really helps in situations like this is taking it all to God, over and over and over again, like Job when he wouldn't listen to his friends (and they got SOOOO MAD) but he knew he needed to listen to God, and nothing else mattered.