Can't I taste my own blood on my tongue? Or do I have to bite my tongue first?
I wish incorporeal mediums would stop giving me bad advice. I welcome you with apprehension, apparition, for apparently I'm apathetic.
Appropriate.
Friday, September 28, 2012
9.29
[I have made several changes to the blog. Things have gotten slightly snarkier in the sidebar (sorry for calling you sheeple; it was the thing to do) and I've added an annoying scrollthrough gif which has blown my mind for the last few months and I've been dying to do something with it. Tell me if you hate scrolling through it each time. I'll probably get tired of it after a month and shift it down or something.]
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I'm sure I speak for everyone when I express gratitude for the snark. Good job.
ReplyDeleteSpace.
ReplyDeleteYeah, space. It doesn't get any better than that.
ReplyDeleteSnark is usually funny. So is the sidebar.
ReplyDeleteThanks. I prefer to have snarkiness than anything else ever always hooray!
ReplyDeleteBut then again, I might be lying.
But why? Why snark? The only thing I can think of that it's got going for it is that it's easy.
ReplyDeleteYou, lying? Impossible.
Easy? To have really decent snark that doesn't simultaneously insult the entire Jewish population or alienate people who happen to like toast thankyouverymuch or crush the heart of every woman you meet?
ReplyDeleteSnark's actual, stated purpose is to hurt someone. The only difficult part I can think of in using it is finding a place/time to use it without offending someone in the room.
ReplyDelete(Also, if you don't believe that snark is easy, can you think of a single comedian who does not use snark? As far as I can tell, it's the go-to plan.)
Did you know that "snark" is a portmanteau of "snide" and "remark"? Did you know that the definition of "snide" is "derogatory in a nasty, insinuating manner"?
How about sarcasm? This is a fun one. It's either "harsh or bitter derision or irony" or "a sharply ironical taunt; sneering or cutting remark."
The only part of sarcasm that might ever be okay is irony, but that is usually used to illustrate the idiocy of another person (although that person is much less often an idiot and much more often someone who just didn't know that cultural reference).
So tell me, what exactly is "decent snark"?
What is the singular of sheeple? I've been wracking my brain and have come up with several possibilities:
ReplyDeleteSheeperson
Sherson
Sheepson
Sherpus
Input would be greatly appreciated.
I think "decent snark" would be snark that isn't meant to hurt. Even if that's the basic definition (which I'm not disputing), part of it falls on the speaker or writer and his or her intent in writing it. Otherwise, if there's no "decent snark," then it seems as if all satire would be off-limits as well as snark. A well-written turn of phrase can burn or freeze and it be meant neutrally. So part of the definition is on the producer, part is on the product, and part is on the consumer.
ReplyDelete(I read WAY too much literary criticism today. 6 and 1/2 hours. Way too much for a one-hour class that doesn't even exist in my catalog.)
I think Sherpus, definitely.
ReplyDeleteAnd I believe that snark can be directed ether-wards as surely as "interesting" can be manufactured (girl with dragon tattoo). The authorial intent aside, there is absolutely no harm in calling you "sheeple," or mindless followers, if I'm not leading anywhere. If the insult is only self-directed, it rebuffs itself.
The least likely candidate, huh? And /candidate/! /That/ is the word I wanted last night. asdfjlk;
ReplyDelete(You leading nowhere does not necessarily make the following mindless. Maybe the following is sport, in which case some variation of dolphin would be in order.)
How can you follow mindfully when I'm not going anywhere at all?
ReplyDeleteMaybe you're going somewhere and don't realize it.
ReplyDeleteAnswer: By being aware that I'm following.
ReplyDeleteSay you're driving down the road when you decide to follow a car for the next five or so miles with the sole purpose of terrifying its driver. You don't know where that car is going (because that would be too weird), but you're aware that you're following - and you're aware of why you're following (i.e. your own amusement).
If you're making the conscious decision to follow and have a reason backing that decision, whether or not you know the leader's destination is moot. If I were following without meaning to follow, or perhaps without a reason to do so, then I might concede to mindlessness.
," she said, two days later.
Oh! Well, here you are, and it is as if you have been here all along. Welcome and hello.
ReplyDeleteDon't be mindless unless you want to be.
He said, two days later.