The Proclaimers. Let's look past the weird collection of Benny and Joon clips running in the background, past the weird twins (?), past the physical toll of walking a thousand miles, to address a very pressing concern: wasn't this the top 40 of 2014? Did I miss something, or wasn't this song released in 1988? --a full 26 years ago!
Hold up a second, I'm getting a phone call. I'll be right back.
Oh.
500 Miles
Justin Timberlake. So, this is actually a cover of a different song possibly by Hedy West. Her version is more soulful, but JT is more beautiful. Not that beauty has anything to do with it.
This song is about loss in a wide world due to separation and possibly death. It's simple and American. Everything about it is designed to appeal to our nostalgia, which is good because there's nothing else relevant about this song (except death). I'm passing good friends with a guy I've never met (Ponopl Man!), and the thousand-mile difference doesn't mean a thing. I've maintained (and ruined) relationships while separated by oceans. It's all possible because there's nothing distinctly American and certainly nothing simple anymore.
So, if there's nothing relevant to this song anymore, why sing it?
When I pined for relationships I lost, I didn't seek out complex songs with messages like "Don't worry: you could have maintained that if you weren't such a screw-up. Distance doesn't matter!" I wanted "Ouch, sorry bro" songs and "Life gets better" songs and "I'm sooo s a d" songs. And for this, it sufficeth. I don't have any beef with the song, even though I don't particularly like it. I don't understand why the marshmallowy goodness of a simplistic ballad loss song is so high up the list, but it's certainly a beautiful amalgam of good parts. It puts me to sleep, which (depending on the time of day) isn't bad.
I wouldn't buy this, though I might watch Inside Llewyn Davis.
Now let's tear it apart.
What is with this song and the vamp? I mean, Hedy West hid it with tempo, but Justin does nothing. He's just jarring me with
Lord, I'm one, Lord, I'm two, Lord, I'm three, Lord, I'm four Lord, I'm five hundred miles away from home.That's not songwriting. That's awful, distracting, repetitious. That's literally the only lyric I remembered from my first listen to, and my second and third were more annoying. What's with the quatrapeat of "A hundred miles?" At least Lana's vamp is kissing my ears and telling me everything will be okay. I forget that she's already said the words "my life is sweet like cinnamon" a thousand times.
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