My Acolyte Journey: 2014.27

Do or Die.
Thirty Seconds to Mars. I don't think I've ever known I was listening to a song by this group, and if I have heard one I forgot it. Honestly, the only exposure I've had to 30seconds2Mars is watching Requiem for a Dream, and that on Stephen's recommendation anyway. Also apparently I should watch Dallas Buyer's Club because Jared Leto, amirite?
This song's lyrics are shredded and pieced together again badly. I can't tell you how I'm supposed to pull the author's meaning from this, but I'm quickly getting the idea that's not the point. I'm aggravated. It's like the lyricists have mastered the art of the hollow phrase--some words that will trigger a memory that then shapes your personal understanding of the song. Whether or not they had anything in mind, I have to congratulate Jared Leto on drilling straight for that common denominator. I mean, adolescence is full of stupid nights. I will never forget the moment/the moment, Jared, but I hardly doubt the stakes are really so high as do or die. Die?
[But]
In my secret mind I see two lines I hate because they make sense. Let me explain.

In the beginning was the light of the dawning age.

This is the only mild scriptural allusion I can see in the text, but that it's there . . . this could very easily be a passion play song. I could use this as Jesus' prayer "let this cup pass from me." Do or die. On the other hand, there is the pesky repetition of fate, which has no real place in Adventist behavior. (God allows us to choose; fate has no place for all but Greeks) Eeh. I can still see it. However,

I don't wanna live a lie that I believe.

Augh, nuts. Really big un-tasty ones. Brazil nuts that get left until the trail mix is just Brazil nuts. This isn't a Christian song at all. This is a searing indictment. I knew something was fishy when you wanted me to ignore that (so you put it in the first stanza). Song, you're humanist. You'll never die, despite it being "do or." Fate is guiding you. Legitimately caring about others is uncool. Live in the moment because it feels good.
Sometimes, I miss We're Going Home because at least it told a story. This song is the one that wore me out. This is such a meaningless piece of lyricism--built to appeal but not repulse--I just can't respond.
I have nothing to say.

So I'll watch the video.
That went well. What is it about this song and this fanbase? This is like watching a cult from the outside. They have a charismatic leader and a bevy of arcane symbols and ancient-sounding phrases because you need to Provehito in Altum, the Echelon. Serious hero-worship and no mistake. They all share tattoos and gather in enormous rituals to flush themselves with a new, higher-order identity driven by one of the most powerful intoxicants known to man: (not music, with its demand for cognizant engagement, but) group dynamics.
Thirty Seconds to Mars is selling contentment, and so what if I'm buying? Here's my truth: the people in this video are so sincere that I begin to doubt my garrulous, jaded shell. What if I'm the one living in the middle of the night? I need to wake up, to run headlong into the future because if I don't, these people--these free thinkers and life-livers will pass me by. I would make so many more mistakes if I knew that I had a community of people who understood my passion and drive, people who (even though they don't know me personally) feel intensely about me and everything I believe. And oh, the music! It's building and exploding, anthemic and glorious. Jared Leto is so beautiful and maybe if I buy a ticket now before the tour is sold out, and I move to Barcelona so I can camp the stadium the week before, and I push to the front, maybe I and the throng I represent can finally, for one moment, feel truly alive despite all, and I can touch Jared Leto on the face. I'm entire. I'm whole because I heard that if I didn't do, I would die. Provehito in Altum. Yes! Yes! Raptures not just from the people around me who get it just as I do, but from the arc of the saga, the long trail of higher human life connecting me with a multitude of other zealots, all of the Echelon, stretching back to the first human who lept at a mammoth armed only with grit, determined to risk everything in the name of his belief. Glory! Height, majesty, power! A life well-lived with no regrets! Give me the injection of adrenaline and norepinephrine and call me a proselyte.
I buy it.

P.S. What's with the reference to Sisyphus?