4.22b

I'm currently loading film into the camera. It's hard, because I have to pull out some film and wind it down into the camera just right, or it won't catch and I'll have to start all over again. Once I finally get it, I'll take pictures.

It's hard to take pictures, because I have no idea how they'll turn out. I can't take a picture again if it's out of focus, or underexposed, or weird. I have to just point and shoot, pray and hope. Some of the pictures are ruined by people getting in the way. Some of them are ruined by the subject blinking. Some of them are ruined by a shaky camera hand.

But maybe, just maybe, one of them is good.

So I keep shooting.

People make fun of me sometimes, for not using a digital camera. "It's easier! You don't have to wait to see your pictures. It's way more fun, too!" I'm unconvinced, but I can't prove my case. I can't just pull out all the film on the spool and say "Here, look! I have great pictures! Life is peachy!" because all the film is still light-sensitive, and it would ruin everything if I did.

I have to be careful.

I have to plan my shots.

I have to be patient and wait to see them.

The worst part of film is handing it to someone else, asking them to finish the process. What if they say no? What if they botch it all up? What if they lose the negatives?

The best part of film is pulling all the pictures out of the paper envelope and going through them all, seeing all the mistakes and underexposures and weird faces. And pictures are never as good without waiting first.

And that's why I wait.