9.12a

I am 4 posts behind, and due to my inability to write a "d" post, I will not catch up today.

I'm chewing my food but I can't really taste it anymore. People apparently have the ability to focus completely on one single object, but I never put much thought into that until just now when I found myself doing it. So I dragged myself away from my mind and into my subconscious and started me some meta-cognition. I had been focused on food and I remember thinking about how the little crunchy bits were the best and then all of a sudden I know I wasn't focusing on my food anymore. So I think that was about when she walked into the room all slow-like and gauzy and not with a little sway in her self like a snake or a hunting cat but not quite like either and a little more of both so she became more than herself and drew my eye and held it and it was not like I could look away. I kept staring at her, mouth still moving I guess because by the time she walked past me I don't remember having any more food in my mouth but that could be because my jaw dropped and all the food slid out crunchy or no. So I guess I do remember what happened but it was like it happened to somebody else, that's all I'm saying. That focus was powerful strange though. I think I have heard people use the term single-minded but that ain't quite it, it's more like you have your whole mind all the time but just now you're using it all to focus on this one thing.

Well I know for me I was focused on that gentle curve up from down below to up above, like if you see a tree that gets all bent over in some wind or maybe the path a cat takes as its jumping or maybe a snake as it speeds after its prey or maybe when a hawk falls out of the sky after something else and then somehow pulls out and it makes such a graceful careening arc and you just wish you could fly so that then she would notice me here with my crunchy bits and my sadness that she's gone.