He blinked his eyes four times to clear his vision and then closed them again to concentrate. He focused on the one noise that he could hear: the air conditioner, its heavy hum sitting hard on his chest. He shifted so that he could hear it equally in both ears. He balanced on his toes, leaning forward just enough so that he was on the edge of falling. He put his hands out as counterweight and one arm hit the lamp. He cursed and turned, slapping the lamp with his other arm.
He gave up and sat down.
His project sat unfinished, almost complete: a house of cards. He was on the last layer. First four triangles, then three, then two, now one. And if he does it wrong, it all comes down. The air conditioner hummed annoyingly in one ear. He shifted to face it, and felt it in both ears and his chest, sitting equal and heavy. He turned the thermostat up, and the condenser stopped humming. He flipped his attention back to the cards. He reached for the vital pair of cards and lifted them carefully to the top of the house. His hands were shaking, and his nausea came back.
He got up, and balanced on his toes. Carefully avoiding the lamp, he stretched his arms out to full extension and then brought them together in front and touched them together. He slowly settled back down to the balls of his feet. One foot rested on a cord, raised slightly. He could feel it through his shoe.
He walked back and sat down. He could still feel the cord. He stood up, walked over, and stepped on the cord with his other foot.
Then he jumped in the air, landing on his heels, knocking all sensation of the cord away. He did the balance exercise again, landing perfectly on his heels with no cord underneath.
The nausea was gone.
He sat down, and lifted the cards to the top of the house. Both of his feet tapped in rapid unison. He held the cards over the house, and with careful precision, slowly let them settle to the top surface of the house. He didn't breathe. He didn't move. He didn't think. His eyes got bigger and bigger until the cards were perfectly balanced unshifting perfect in absolutely the right alignment and they would never fall as long as he held them but he had to let them go and see what would happen and the air conditioner turned on, loud in one ear, and he twitched and yelled and the cards settled as if in slow motion to the ground, slipping off the desk and on the desk and all over kingdom come and he vomited, long and hard, into the wastebasket.
OCD: 1
Mind over Matter: 0
I knew a girl who was pretty well on in this direction. Nobody understood her but me . . .
ReplyDeleteI guess I have the tendencies. I find myself getting nauseous whenever something isn't juuuuuuuuust right. I haven't thrown up yet, though.
ALSO: she seriously freaked if you touched her hand, and she'd ask you to touch the other one. She couldn't eat spaghetti (AT ALL, EVER EVER EVER) and instead ate banana chips and raisins at most meals. I asked her once how many raisins went with each chip, or if it was proportional to size (because she used the chips like tiny plates upon which to set the raisins) and she told me that it was based on a proportion of size, not number.
I think it kind of freaked her out that I had (basically) insights into her soul. I don't think anyone had gotten her OCD so completely ever. That's not the kind of question you ask unless you understand.
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ReplyDeleteI remember you telling me about her. I have some of those tendencies, too, but I'm working on them (in which direction, who knows?). Please don't throw up... well, unless it helps with the nausea and you don't mind being the one to clean it up.
ReplyDeleteInsights= good writer. Sometimes.
I liked this story, even though I wanted MoM to win (although I think my mom fits more into the OCD category-- which should really just be OC, which makes the show a little bit interesting, but not enough for me to find out about what it is).
"nessers"
my nickname: nessie.
That is a very flighty comment.
ReplyDeleteYeah, there's a difference between the personality disorder and the mental disorder. I found that out and was so weirded out. It's OCPD, technically. OCD is something where you have bad thoughts and to get them out, you do menial, repetitive tasks to get them out of your head.
This is OCPD. I frogot because I don't care that much (at least that's what I tell myself at night). But yeah, thanks for reminding me.
"Flighty" is a good word.
ReplyDeleteOkay, so OCD the mental disorder is something like OSC's Wang-Mu in "Children of the Mind"?
OCPD is... what? Monk? No, wait, that's probably also OCD. OCPD is... what I'm doing now?
No problem.
Monk has OCPD. OCD is not anything like portrayed by the media. Or by anyone, really. OCD has become a catch all.
ReplyDeleteRead about it, it's pretty interesting.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive–compulsive_disorder
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive–compulsive_personality_disorder
FOR EXZAMPLE: in matchstick men and monk, the dude has OCPD, not OCD. At least, that's what I assume, since the anxiety comes from a stimulus for Monk and from his stupidity for Nick Cage.
That is fascinating. So... basically it's hard to tell whether or not someone has OCD unless you can get inside their heads and read/see/understand their thoughts... Is anything that anyone in the media presents as fact really the whole truth?
ReplyDeleteNick Cage makes me laugh.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6i2WRreARo
I so hate Nick Cage. SO much.
ReplyDeleteThat's why he's funny. Did you even watch the video? It's hilarious. He's so unnecessarily... unnecessary...
ReplyDelete