Dance in the Full Moon

O, the Frailty of Memory

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

1_27a

More catching up to do. I suck at daily blogging, I really do.

He flew from commitment like an arrow flies from a string. And not just marriage (though Lord only knows how marriage would twist him into a pretzel) but employment and mortgages and even dating. The phrases "over the course of six months, you" and "in the future we will" and "reconvene tomorrow to decide about" made him run like a horse out of the gate. He had nothing more than passing friendships, transitive and changing relationships on which he couldn't rely for longer than five minutes at a time.

"Hey, what's your name?"
"Oh, I'm Ted."
"I'm Stephen. I lost my wife around here somewhere--you haven't happened to see a tall, beautiful redhead anywhere, have you?"
"I saw a woman over that way by the handbags."
"She would! Thanks . . . ?"
"Stephen."
"Thanks Stephen."

And with that, Ted entered the holy sanctum of inner circles, and he knew as much about Stephen's life as anyone else.

Don't blame him, though. He has his reasons. He pushes everyone away because he's too afraid of letting them down. He doesn't want to promise something that he can't deliver. He doesn't want to fall through on someone who expects something of him. He doesn't want to leave the earth an unhappier place because he was here. He doesn't want to break his word.

Because in the end, that's all he has. Well, that and cancer.

3 comments:

  1. I think it's funny that you used the picture of something that usually flies toward something as an image of something that's trying to fly away.

    Good irony in the "all he has" signifying... well, all he doesn't have. Good ending.

    Is it bad that this story makes me smile?

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  2. Maybe it's bad. Maybe. But everyone likes a good story about how somebody has it worse than him.

    And I'm actually an archer (not by trade, but by hobby) so I think of the arrow as flying away from myself. I'm not trying to kill anything, so it's where it originates that's more important than where it ends up.
    I hadn't thought of it that way.

    And this story kind of makes me tired, rather than smiley. Just so you know.

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  3. This is a terrible analogy that you'll hate, but I guess it's like having a baby. You're tired; I smile.

    Archery is wicked fun. I can see what you mean, though.

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