2.5a

He threw his book-bag on the floor. He stuck out his lips at it, like he was imitating a fish. His eyebrows knit together like grandma's free time. He picked it up gingerly and examined to see if anything was broken or bent. Nothing was. So he opened the window and hurled it to the floor three stories down. He walked down the stairs like a dinosaur and flung open the door like it was "Velociraptor vs. Flimsy Metal Door: Jurassic Park, the untold story." He looked at his book-bag and decided that it had had a hard enough day. The bottom was ripped open and the contents were scattered everywhere. He went through the mess and found the page he was looking for. He picked it up and walked back inside.

Life is hard when you don't understand zippers.

P.S. Don't even ask how he's gonna get his pants off.