I have to sob silently though, or someone might try to comfort me.
And that would be the worst of all.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
10.16b
The chill always rolls down my spine and spreads out through my ribcage. I shudder a little, and my breath juts and sputters. Eventually a single sob breaks through as glistening sadness blurs my vision. I always try to fight the tears. Tonight they come freely. My power is not enough to stop the barrage of emotion.
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I like the "someone might try to comfort me. And that would be the worst of all" best.
ReplyDeleteI completely understand this. Probably too much.
I can't help hoping it was just imaginary on your part. So I won't ask.
I kind of wrote it with your story (from creative writing) in mind. This is the way I see you/other people/me react to things. I'm not sure it's healthy, and I don't like it, but I don't know how to change.
ReplyDeleteYou remember that story? Whatever for?
ReplyDeleteNope, not healthy at all. How to change, indeed.
If you ever figure that part out, get back to me.
I'm working on it. Right now it involves stating your needs and desires clearly to the other party. It failed but I think it's because of external reasons. I need a control group, and a bigger sample pool.
ReplyDeleteWho, exactly, is the other party?
ReplyDeleteI think that's part of the problem. If you don't know to whom to express your needs . . . Sorry.
Well, you can perhaps use your past as a control group, and just start whitewashing your immediate vicinity with your feelings.