11.28a

I have weird wants.

I have always wanted to meet a woman fighting a man (physically fighting, now) and I have to save her by marching up to this unchivalrous lout and . . . not fighting him. As a matter of fact, in my retarded dreams, I turn his aggression from her, to me. Upon which happenstance I do not fight back, but rather kinda . . . take the abuse.
This (ravishing) woman will then see both my bravery and gentleness and be drawn to me like iron to a magnet, like a bee to a flower, like rain to the ground, or more poetically, a fly to poop.

I don't know why I wish this, but I guess I can surmise a few things.
I want a woman who is physically vulnerable, but values things other than physical strength. In other words, she
1. needs protection
2. doesn't want protection

Perhaps that is why my relationships to date have not quite worked.
Perhaps it is saying something about the mixed influences of my mother and father.
Perhaps it is perfect. This last possibility I highly doubt.

I have had this exact sequence play out in my head with . . . at least five women. Probably plural times with each. This has taken place over the course of . . . seven or eight years.

I have only once had the opportunity. Sans woman. When I was 11 or 12. Nothing came of it. <-- this is probably because men don't solve their problems with violence as often as my subconscious would like