He put on a burst of speed and caught up to his quarry. Trip? Tackle? Shove? Grab? Drag?
Ask?
In that split second, he reached out his hands and tossed her fragile form to the ground. He took three steps to slow and turn: large, heavy steps crushing into the ground as his mass decelerates. He looks again at the girl he has just humiliated--for that is what she is, a girl-- and he sees her choke back her vehemence or humiliation. He slowly picks her up from the ground and she hangs in his large hands like a broken stalk, the beautiful petals scattering on the ground. She doesn't fight. She knows this moment has been coming ever since she started running.
(the slow crushing step of inevitability)
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This was great until it started yelling, "Rape!" in my head and I can't be objective anymore.
ReplyDeleteIt's well written. Good description. I don't know what else to say.
Wow I didn't even think of that.
ReplyDeleteSad?
Happy?
Dunno. I just didn't think of it.
The worst part is that the description of her isn't sexual in the slightest. In fact, it's somewhat desexualized by the fact that he doesn't consider her a woman. Also, he's hunting her for whatever reason.
ReplyDeleteSO the fact that the first thought is rape really shows something telling about our culture. If the prey were a man or literally ANYTHING else (a three-inch cube of intelligent soup) it wouldn't be rape.
You're right about that. I didn't figure you'd done it intentionally.
ReplyDeleteI feel maybe I should explain what triggered it? First, it was the "Ask?" that is rejected. Then it was the "her fragile form." Then the humiliation, and the "broken stalk, the beautiful petals scattering on the ground." You've heard sex referred to as "deflowering," yes? And finally, the "she doesn't fight."
Another issue is the idea that she knew it would happen as soon as she started running. I know, in my head, that you meant, as soon as she started trying to evade capture. But I can't help thinking about women who go jogging. Like Kirsten.
As I sad before, Robby, it's well written.
As you said, the description isn't sexual.
But I've never really believed that rape was about sex. I always thought it was about power, about exerting one's will.
Anyway, I'm sorry I ruined this. It could have been awesome if I didn't have all that freaked-out-ness running amok in my head.
No. It's not ruined.
ReplyDeleteYou need to stop saying things like THAT. that's the stuff that ruins.
Don't be so down on yourself.
You are right.
ReplyDeleteYou're always right.
Did you join some sort of rightness club when you were younger?
Nop.
ReplyDeleteI did, and for a low monthly subscription of only $9.99. What a deal.
ReplyDelete(Also, I thought less 'is sir a rapist?' when I read this and more 'why does the past tense change to present tense halfway through?'.)
It's the "as" clause and my crippling inadequacies with tense changes. Seriously, though, it's a struggle every day.
ReplyDeleteNow you know.