Dance in the Full Moon

O, the Frailty of Memory

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

10.22

[not finished, but you deserve to read it anyway because I like the taste of lemon water]
Marco wasn't perfect. It took Catherine two months to find out.
Before that time, her assumption was that he was, in fact, perfect in every conceivable way. Apart from the heavenly gorgeous amazing incredible stunning smile that a loving God had planted on his masculine face, he had an eye for detail and a care for others that she never thought she would find in a guy. This fact she noticed very quickly indeed. Her rain boots were plaid. No one's rain boots were plaid, not in the entire school. This was a fact that made Catherine unceasingly proud.
"They're not from Walmart," she said, by way of explanation.
"Oh." Rosalyn was not impressed.
This non-support from her best friend made Catherine feel like the shade of an apple bruise. So she went around all day feeling like the shade of fruit that had been dropped from a counter and left to brown and sicken. She felt unappetizing. So when she saw Marco, she wasn't in the best possible mood. Between third period Biology and their mutual lunch break, the couple developed a pattern of meeting at the water fountain on third floor between their classrooms. She stood bruised apple shade at the fountain and waited for him. He stopped ten feet away and frowned.
"How can you look so sad in plaid?"
Catherine thought it was probably the corniest thing anyone had ever said to anyone, but it made her feel like the taste of water with lemon in it. Just right.

They sat just so in the cafeteria. On one side of the table, Catherine Rosalyn, on the other, Marco Enrique Erica. It was an odd social mixing. Three fourths of the way through nearly every lunch, Rosalyn would make an odd pronouncement and the entire table would dissolve into an argument about the relative worth of Uggs versus flip flops or Florida versus California or the Rolling Stones versus Michael Jackson. The argument never mattered, but Rosalyn continued.
"I'm sounding the depths," she explained. "They don't sound more than four fathoms yet."
She persisted until she struck on a topic that satisfied her. She found it in her God versus Pantheism argument. Marco assaulted her with the writings of an obscure Mongolian mystic, then Plato's republic, then the book of Job. She countered with Coleridge, Exodus, and Gilgamesh before turning to Catherine and nodding. She stood up, took her tray, and walked out. Marco, rounding the corner of his argument about Mesopotamian cultures, halted and swallowed, nervous.
"Did I offend her?"
Enrique and Erica continued feeding each other corn chips from a single bag.
"Seriously, though. Did I, like, attack her or something?"
He looked so small and careful that Catherine laughed to see the difference. "No, you didn't offend her. She approves of you, idiot." She threw her fork at him and laughed again. "She said she wouldn't let me date anyone who couldn't think."
"So?"
"So you can think."
"That's a good thing?"
"It's excellent." Rosalyn had never approved of anyone before. Catherine thought it wasn't quite fair, of course. Rosalyn usually rebutted that she could find a pig with wings before Catherine could find a jock with a brain. She hadn't. Catherine felt like it was a perfect day.
Two hours later, she got a text from Rosalyn. It was a picture of a pig with wings. It said "Good luck!"
Catherine didn't cry, but she felt like it would have been justified.

Marco asked her out in midOctober, when the weather and the trees and life were changing. He called her phone, which she didn't pick up because Rosalyn said it would be bad form to appear too desperate. Her mother called up the stairs "Catherine, there's someone on the phone for you!" Catherine pulled back from her textbook and stood up. Her mother yelled again. "It's a boy! What should I say to him?"
Catherine decided to start breathing again. Maybe it was him. She was completely unsure of if he would really call her house.
She grabbed her best lip balm and put it on, then changed her shirt. Her mother yelled up the stairs again. "Catherine, are you deaf or dead? There are no other options."
Catherine ran down the stairs and picked up the receiver. "Hello?" It was too-breathy, like the voice the other girls made when talking about boys they'd had sex with and the feel of their stomachs and the roughness of their hands. She took a breath and tried again. "Hello?"
"Hey."
She wished her heart would slow down. "Hey yourself." She immediately told herself to stop being a ditz and sound like a human again. She had little hope of it working.
"So, you're home."
"Obviously. And you?"
"Well, I'm calling from in front of your house. You wanna go on a walk?"

[in progress--I'll finish when I'm not at 1am]

9 comments:

  1. XD this. This!

    I love watching you develop this.

    I really love this:

    "'I'm sounding the depths,' she explained. 'They don't sound more than four fathoms yet.'
    "She persisted until she struck on a topic that satisfied her. She found it in her God versus Pantheism argument. Marco assaulted her with the writings of an obscure Mongolian mystic, then Plato's republic, then the book of Job. She countered with Coleridge, Exodus, and Gilgamesh before turning to Catherine and nodding."

    Oh, and the way you describe her feelings-- that's excellent. And then the whole breathlessness thing reminds me of stuff and then "sad in plaid" . . .

    I think I can see why you're not happy with it. Like the girl from my seminar, I suppose you worry that you'll never be able to top this. (I told you about that, yes? Yes. I think. I was tired. I am tired. Maybe tomorrow I will read this and respond coherently.)

    But then, you haven't finished the undersea Sherlock and Watson.

    Definitely lemon water.

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  2. I don't like it because I can't feel it. However, I'm not the only person, I guess. I don't always have to write stuff I can feel.

    It seems like . . . it's disingenuous, and unreal, and not efficient, and it doesn't say anything to me. I wish it did.

    I'm just not excited about this story.
    I'm glad you like it.
    I'm trying to figure out what happens in it. I swear, I will finish this one if it is the last thing I do. I may actually re-draft. I may edit. I may try to figure this one out. I may change my characters. But I need this story to work.

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  3. The weird thing is, I can tell you're not feeling it, but you put in so many touches that are awesome that I can't help but love it anyway.

    I hope you can figure it out.

    I was surprised that Catherine didn't say anything in the argument.

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  4. Okay, I'm really liking this.

    My favorite line actually has nothing to do with Marco, Catherine or Rosalyn. My favorite line is thus: "Enrique and Erica continued feeding each other corn chips from a single bag."

    Because I've known people who do that sort of thing, and the detail was perfect and made me laugh.

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  5. Yeah, I'm good at adding detail, but there's no real fire in me to finish this. I guess what I'm finding is that I'm ok at writing stories like a machine. I know where I want to go, and I know the touches I need to add to do what I need to do, but there isn't this frantic, driving pressure to write more of the story like I had with Thomas. Also, the format is impersonal, and I'm not sure how much I like that. I'm trying to do what YA authors seem to do, but I'm not sure how it's working out.

    And! I'm finally able to see how people are able to write entire books like this. I mean, the words just roil and burst out. There are so many more things I want to do, but it's just not a very compact medium.

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  6. Robby, I completely agree. I have no interest in the characters whatsoever. Rosalyn is the kind of person who, in real life, would irritate the crap out of me. Marco is ok, but that's about it. I don't care what happens to them. I was even tempted to stop reading halfway through because it just wasn't interesting. I mean, you have detail yes, and its written well, its just that the subject matter is more....bland..than most of your stuff it seems like.

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  7. I'm writing it because I need to end the story. I need to find the end. If I can't figure it out, what does that mean?

    And I like the idea of these characters, but it's true. They have no character other than she likes plaid and doesn't want to fit in. But everybody wants to be unique. So that's nothing.
    I just don't want to try to be "quirky" and "cute" because . . . I dunno. Doesn't feel realistic.

    So I'm still struggling to find these characters.
    This is by no means a real story yet. As a matter of fact, it's hardly anything yet.

    Anyway, I've written more and it gets much better in the next part. I'll look at this again. I just . . . that whole piece about Rosalyn feels weird to me too, Kyle. But however hatable she is, it's true that people do that. ANYWAY

    ReplyDelete