If I took a bunch of pencils out of
my bag I wonder how high I could stack them. I will do that right now. Hm.Okay. Wow, this is harder than I thought. Hm. Okay, I have two now, but they are wobbly. I wonder . . . could I get three? Maybe if I hold my breath okay here goes. Okay got it on there if I take my hands away nope. Fell. Oh, and the other two fell. Alright, I've got two again and nope. Fell. Okay, two is pretty easy now, but I just have to get three, and I've got it on there again, but I have to release just right and oh yeah it's staying it's staying I hope nobody bumps the table for like, at least five minutes. I want to show this to Gary OH I can take a picture I'm doing that.
[click]
Hm. That wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be. I wonder if there are other things I haven't tried which would be as difficult but more awesome. Or more difficult AND more awesome. I think using a dogsled to do a jump would be pretty legit. Or maybe a snowmobile over a parked car? That would require a lot of work. Maybe if I hit the jump just right I could get a wicked backspin on the treads and do a flip in the air, but I would have to be going really really fast.
Oh, man.
That would rock.
Hey! There's Samantha.
I wonder if she's walking over here. I kind of hope she is.
Oh, yup.
Cool.
I kind of think she's pretty in a way but not like a pornstar slut kind of way, more like a if-you-kiss-me-I-would-giggle kind of way, more like she's above all that crap that other girls do and she's more like . . . she's not like Veronique, I'll tell you that.
"Hello, Bobby!"
"Hey, Sam. I totally stacked my pencils so if you don't bump the table or anything maybe they'll stay there."
"Cool?"
"It's awesome."
I wonder if Veronique ever giggled when anybody kissed her. She just seems like she's been there, you know? Like she knows what a kiss is so why would she giggle? But I'm sure there was a point whenever when she hadn't ever kissed anybody. I wonder did she giggle then? She wears her high heels and her tight shirts and she is totally hot and I bet she never giggled when anybody kissed her. But I don't know, it's not like it's a bad thing to giggle. And if I made Sam giggle I would rock that. I bet she blushes because all redheads blush like mad and I love it when girls blush. Oh, man. I would take a giggle from Sam before anything from that frickin' harlot. Man, harlot is such a good word. I bet I could get a high five from Jason if he were here right now. That's a high five that I missed from Gary AND Jason. I wonder if I could get a high five from Samantha.
"You know, you're nothing like Veronique, because she's a total harlot."
aww yeah up top
"What is wrong with you? You should never compare girls! It makes them feel like crap!"
"Oh, my gosh."
Somebody can't take a compliment. I hate when girls take honest compliments all wrong. Jeebus it's not like I meant anything by it. You know, I bet I could get a fourth pencil on top of that other one.
Oh, if Gary could see this he would wet his pants.
So close.
Aww, suckbandits.
"Bobby, you're so intense all of a sudden. What are you thinking about? I swear if you're thinking about me versus Veronique, keep it to yourself."
Aw crap I hate when girls ask this. I always feel like I have to invent something just to make the conversation interesting. Whenever I say nothing they always get this weird look on their faces like they're disappointed. But seriously, all I was thinking was "pencilpencilpencilpencilpencilpencil" and it wasn't even like that, it was more like "pppppppeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnccccccccccccciiiiiiiiiiiiiiilllllllllllllll" like a slow motion of an action hero jumping through plate glass. Dangit, what do I say to her? I don't want to seem like a moron and I think I already do, after that comment before. Ugh. I guess I have to rely on the old
"Nothing."
"Oh."
Dangit dangit dangit.
Why can't I just say it? Samwillyougotothedancewithme? Too fast. Sam, will you I sound like a retard. Oh well. Dangit, there's Gary and all the pencils are fallen down.
"Well, I should go, Bobby. I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Oh! Yeah, totally."
This is totally your chance.
"Um, Sam?"
"Yeah?"
"Nothing."
"Okay, bye!"
Man, I suck.
dude, I friggin love this. I can't say I share your thought process, but I definately get it. also, I do share it in certain parts. and I had a specific voice in my head when you tried to slow down the asking of sam to the dance lol. also, I am thoroughly impressed with the pencil thing.
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome! Thanks for using it. You made my day.
ReplyDeleteI'd say all the stuff Kyle just said except I think he's already said it so very well. :-)
I really liked this, though. I am so very tempted to do a corollary, but I think maybe Ashlee will? Hers would probably make more sense, because I'd have to write the way I think, and I do not think I think like a normal, sane person.
I've stacked pencils before. I like stacking pencils. I also like arranging them. So yeah, PENCILS! :-)
Nicely done, Robby. At least I think it is nicely done--if I can judge by guys' faces when they try to balance things (that in an out of conversation look).
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you wrote this.
And Janelle, why don't you write a corollary as well. It won't be the same as Ashlee's (if indeed she does do one--thought maybe she will now that we've talked about like it exists), and it's always interesting to read other people's thought processes--especially if they are abnormal and insane.
The problem with writing a guy's perspective on things is that it's pretty sparse and linear, and they don't backtrack normally, and if they do it's more like switching traintracks, not like backtracking to pick up where they left off.
ReplyDeleteSo it's not very interesting to read in large chunks.
P.S. Thanks, Kyle.
ReplyDeleteSure he backtracks. It's back to Gary and the pencils ever other sentence.
ReplyDeleteI'm definately going to do a 'freewriting' thing now (not RIGHT now, just at some point), so people can see my thought process lol. it's quite abstract.
ReplyDeleteIt's not backtracing. It's picking up where thought was left.
ReplyDeleteAnd I will be interested to read it, Kyle.
Train tracks. Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteMy thought process is a giant scribble.
Definitely do it, Kyle! And Brooke! And Ashlee! And everyone! Let me poke around inside your brains! :-)
What is your definition of backtracking?
ReplyDeleteI don't know about Robby's definition, but I understood it this way:
ReplyDeleteInstead of having to unravel the thread of-- well, conversation? monologue?-- back to the source to remember what one was thinking before an interruption, one just remembers?
Like instead of playing a tape, forgetting to pause it while you go do something else, and then rewinding to figure out where you left off, you just . . . pause it?
I do this quite a bit in my private thoughts, but it's easiest to explain in the context of a conversation with someone else. I have certain friends with whom I can talk about one topic, then switch to another topic, then go back to the original topic without either of us getting lost. This is especially fun to do when I haven't seen the friend in years, but we can still remember the last thing about which we were talking.
Does that make any sense?
It makes sense.
ReplyDeleteThe way I see backtracking is thinking old thoughts again.
The way I think is more like Shelves of Freshness and Shelves of Oldness. The Shelves of Freshness are pretty recent, and anything on them can be had at a moment's notice. Then I open the box from that shelf and think about that again as if there was no pause. It's confusing that it's not backtracking, because it may seem like I'm going back to find it, but the thing is that I never LOST it. I put it away for a minute.
Weird, or no? Hm.
I don't think that's weird. I do that all the time. (Of course, I also think in different ways that are complicated and strange but yay for me and yada yada yada). Do you think that's more a guy thing or more a left-brained thing, or both, or neither?
ReplyDeleteI may be able to do one, but nothing's jumping into my mind yet. My brain is weird, I make random jumps in logic--the jumps are usually right, and I can trace them if I need to, but yeah.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I really liked this. It made me laugh but it also gave me insight. I like it when things do that.
Ah. Ok. I was thinking of backtracking as just going back to a topic. But when backtracking is defined as circling back and walking in the same footprints, then that's different.
ReplyDeleteI like the thread analogy, Janelle. It makes me think of pieces of conversation being braided together. Sometimes you drop a thread and work with the others, but then you can always pick that piece back up and work it in.
Unraveling would be backtracking.
I think it's funny how everyone is convinced that their brains are weird. That makes me think that no one's is.
For the past few years, I have pictured my brain like this: There is a large warehouse full of shelves and isles--imagine a super Walmart or Target. On the shelves are all the boxes of my memory--everything I think and believe and remember. A little dust bunny runs the warehouse. And whenever I need something he goes to find it. He usually knows where everything is--or at least can find it quickly. The only problem is that he doesn't always put things back--he's not very organized (he goes through cycles). So sometimes it takes a long time to find something, or boxes get mixed up, or swapped, or buried for a while (hence my bad memory).
But, overall, my files are kept neat. And my little dust bunny takes good notes on which boxes belong together, and which boxes are interesting to open together, and which ones should never even touch.
Anyway, that's my brain, as I imagine it.
I like your descriptions, everyone. :-)
ReplyDelete"And when everyone's super-- NO ONE WILL BE."
Or not.