3.6

3.4, for those of you at home. I'm only writing one tonight. I'll catch up later.

I run a lot.
Whenever I do, my metabolism kicks down and starts making energy to match my pace. My cells' respiration triples and my breathing deepens. Everything slams into high gear. I'm like a well-oiled machine. But there's one cog that kicks.
Right in that space before sweat and after heat there is a moment of uncontrollable breakdown. Everything in my body is producing and burning energy at a ludicrous rate, but there's no cooling. There is no evaporation of water, just radiation of heat. It is at that moment that I am at my most uncomfortable: heat with no recourse.

Heat with no recourse: I feel like people are slowly filling my back with needles.

When I was small, I believed that I was having an allergic reaction. I tried rubbing my back on the ground. I tried running into the house. I tried scratching on trees. I tried hyperventilating. I used to believe that the sun was the cure: I would take off my shirt and expose my back and everything would be O.K. in a few.