No, no. A thousand times now. I reject. I turn down. I refuse. I stand in opposition to. Je deteste.
And yet, I keep asking myself to make a move, to take a stand, to put myself forward, to slip up, to make a mistake, to regret.
So the answer is no. Until, of course, the answer is yes.
Ah, but saying "no" makes saying "yes" all the more meaningful.
ReplyDeleteHaluska complimented me yesterday, and it lit up my whole world and I'm still not over that and part of that is probably that I'm just terrible with compliments and don't get them often enough to know what to do with them, but I think the vast majority of that is that Haluska usually only gives out compliments when he thinks someone truly deserves one, has earned one. I don't usually believe compliments, but I almost believe his, and that's saying a lot.
Because Haluska is intellectually honest and discriminating in his compliments, they are incredibly meaningful when he gives them.
So shall it be with your "yes," perhaps, when the time is right?
Yes. Because then the "yes" will be thoughtfully given--not just thrown about or given out of habit. It will be a real "yes," a true "yes," and honest "yes."
ReplyDeletePerhaps. But lots of experts agree that people need more positive feedback than negative to continue. What makes Haluska so much more genuine to you than Byrd? Byrd gives massive amounts of positive feedback in comparison. Do her compliments not count? Do they affect less?
ReplyDeleteDOES ANYONE HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS?
I didn't say Dr. Byrd's compliments were less genuine than Haluska's. I give many compliments myself, and I sincerely mean every one.
ReplyDeleteI'm tempted to compare Dr. Byrd's compliments to a tropical jungle and Haluska's to an oasis in the desert. They pretty much have the same stuff, but people dream of oases and not so much of jungles? Because the rest is desert?
But no, see, the thing is . . . if Dr. Byrd started complimenting people less, she wouldn't be her. Her compliments are sincere, and I do appreciate them, and I think they are a wonderful part of who she is. If Haluska started complimenting people more, he wouldn't be him. His compliments would sound forced and contrived. His lack of compliments is a part of who he is. A desert with an oasis isn't better than a jungle, nor is a jungle better than a desert with an oasis. They are just different.
I don't think this makes much sense, and I feel I'm contradicting myself, but basically . . . compliment people when you want to compliment them, and they will know you are being sincere. I think the same goes for saying "yes" and "no."